A hippie's dream is peace.
I search for peace inside myself - I can't do anything more than that.
So many people are in search for war and peace - that neither can be constant.

So I got stuck in a rut. A rut I feel I started digging about 6 months ago. Now I'm trying to climb back out. At first, all I wanted to do was find help. Well, now I don't think I do. I most certainly have some things to work on about myself but I am choosing to do it on my own now.

I've been spending my day with Alex. He has become like a younger brother to me. We joke around. We clean up or watch 15 episodes of House. He is like a best friend to me but I kinda feel like I'm the boring older sister type, instead of like... well I have no idea what I mean. But he just makes me happy. He hangs out and chills with me. ^_^ Yay for Alex.

Joshua = <3 I love you baby.

The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. -Bob Marley

Where Is The Love MAN!?!?

I am in search of serenity
I am looking for a reason to dance
I want to discover where dreams come true

I am sick of pouring my love and life into those who I care about because not everyone treats me the same
I want to give everything I can
I want a friend to go to
I wanted a friend to confide in this whole last week
I hope to find that person some day

I love hearing my nieces voice across the house yelling "I LOVE YOU TOO AUNTY NIKKI!"
I like smiling
I love meeting more new people
I have fun talking and getting entertained by my friends
I wish people didn't assume the worst

Listening to: Say Goodnight and Go by Imogen Heap

Thinking of Joshua

I want to blast my music, hop a dance in my step, and smile all day
Let me dance in a daisy field and be my clumsy self

I want my father to look at me with the same blue eyes I have - and know I think of no one higher than him. I miss him so much eventhough he doesn't seem that far away. I want my daddy again.

Love hurts because it feels so damn good.

I wish every night was like last - slow danced in our room

I would love to go to work in my hippie clothes

I wanna feel good

A hippie's dream is peace.
I search for peace inside myself - I can't do anything more than that.
So many people are in search for war and peace - that neither can be constant.

Stop to hold hands

I feel a weakness coming on

Put my head in the clouds.
It makes sense... poofy clouds should make anyone happy right?

"Aunty Nikki, can I wear the necklace you are wearing? I wanna be like you."
"Of course Katie. You're too cute."

Tell me anything, something

An article in which I "stumbled" upon online.
---------------------------------------------------------
Google has confirmed that the surge of Michael Jackson-related searches on Google News Thursday was first interpreted as an attack on its service.

Google News was inaccessible for some people Thursday afternoon right as rumors of Jackson's death began to circulate, replaced by an error message reading "We're sorry, but your query looks similar to automated requests from a computer virus or spyware application. To protect our users, we can't process your request right now."

Of course, those queries were quite legitimate, as millions around the world searched for accurate information regarding Jackson following reports that he had suffered cardiac arrest. The spike in queries began at about 2:45 p.m. PDT Thursday, and Google thought the traffic was an attack for about 25 minutes before realizing what was going on.

Google also noted that it saw a huge spike in mobile searches. Yahoo's data backed up Google's; it set a record for unique visitors in a single day with 16.4 million visitors, and its lead story on Jackson's death was the most highly-visited story in its history.
---------------------------------------------------------

I thought that was quite interesting.
Woot for gossip. Technology has made individuals words so powerful.
But if you think about it - everything is desensitized now.

Well I miss a lot of people. I wish people weren't so complicated.
I know people who have read past journals or blogs and have been hurt or offended by what I said, (even though I never meant any harm) and then I have others that were disappointed because they weren't mentioned.
Because of this, I blocked all of my blogs to everyone public and everyone on my friends list on MySpace. I didn't delete my dA journals and I am not going to.
I never mean to cause any upset by putting my words on the internet. I type what is on my mind at the time and I may say too much or not enough I guess. I have no idea.

Love.

“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?” -Bob Marley
To tell the truth - I have no idea. I've been trying to figure that out. I wish I could think straight. I wish I knew what do to and what to say. I can't wait to say I've got my serenity back.

I've felt pretty lost lately. My mind is jumbled and my body is disagreeing with me. I've mostly been at home this last week because I've been sick and tired. I am trying to get myself healthy again while I calm my thoughts down and editing the wedding photos I took a little while ago.

I feel like I don't know too much right now. I don't know how I feel of things right now. All I can think about is editing photos and Josh coming back home to me.

Be nice to mother earth. Don't litter.

I don't even want to mention any names in this journal because I'll start talking about them. I have four lines for different individuals but the rest of everyone - I'll list your name if I've been thinking about you today. If not - just think, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow or I already did yesterday.

1. I love you Joshua, I can't ever stop thinking of the rest of my life with you.

2. Meagan and Brad, you're so close now and you'll be great parents. I love you like a sister Meagan.

3. Alli and Damo, congrats you two. You'll be a cute lil family.

4. Addie, oh girly I love you. I've been thinking of you all day hun. <3

Mom. Dad. Step-Mom. Rhonda. Ben. Charles. Shawna. Matt. Katie. Jackson. Alex. Zach. Meeko. Johnny. Bobby. Andrew. Richard. Andie. Ed. Perry. Shorty. Justin. Lizzie. Sara. Mali.

I'm thinking of you.

"Can I stand, with the weight of the world?
Here I stand, with the weight of the world.
And this is all I've got, I'll make it now or not.
It's made up of my love."
-Blessthefall


Peace.

I'm trying to get back into my photography and I think I finally actually am. I had two photo shoots this last week and both of them went great.
I am also the photographer for a wedding this weekend!!!

Well I just woke up, I spent all day in bed yesterday editing photos, and then posted them all online - and I am kinda tired still. I'll start posting photos regularly and start writing more.

Just not today on the writing part.

BTW... I have recently entered a photography contest. Mind voting for me???
VOTE FOR ME AT: [link]

>
Search for "Nicole Gosney" and
VOTE!!


PHOTOGRAPHY FEATURE
So daisies have become my favourite flower after years of never really liking flowers. I plan to design a tattoo around a daisy concept but that's for another day.

I want to have a big feature of photography of girls with daisies. Girls with daisies in their hair. In a field of daisies. Or whatever you captured.
[link]
Rules:
1. Photography Entry
2. 15 MAX
3. Daisies + Chick
4. Type "azure dreams" so I know you read the rules

So far...